#as far as why i don't really have a lot of femslash: i get the Fandom Bug about very few things

[zeldahime]

I will say, as regards Good Omens, that Nina and Maggie aren't getting a lot of attention because they just don't have chemistry and that this is kind of on purpose. They're being forced into situations by Crowley and Aziraphale in an attempt to make them fall in love, but that isn't how it works and Nina has other stuff going on.

We spend most of our time in Nina's head finding out about her current relationship (bad, gender of partner unknown) and our time in Maggie's finding out how stressed she is about her store (business is SUPER down because of the pandemic). Maggie seems to have a bit of a crush, but the one time they're alone together it's just super, super awkward, to the point it almost hurts to watch.

Their point in the story of season 2 is to be awkwardly not in love with each other while Aziraphale and Crowley try to smash them together like Barbie dolls. It does not make me want to smash them together like Barbie dolls more. At this point it just seems cruel.

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/746553097204203521/the-fandom-hates-women-response-to-lack-of-ff

The "fandom hates women" part of it comes from the fact that fandom as an entity just doesn't watch the kind of media that draws femslash, even if it ticks all of the boxes of things those very same people say they like. There are so many times I've watched a show that I've seen mega-popular Tumblr posts wishing existed, and then the fandom is so, so small comparatively and often in general. There have been superheroes, vampire/supernatural shows, fantasy shows, movies, books, the list goes on, that feel like they were generated out of Tumblr's desires for ideal fandom media, and everyone knows they're never going to attract anywhere near the same attention for fandom and fanworks because the common denominator just tends to be that if there isn't a full ensemble of attractive men to ship either with each other or with the women, fandom's not interested.

So it's not about prioritizing women in that sense, it's about people witnessing hypocrisy over and over again the second a show doesn't have a mostly-male ensemble. The people who are in these fandoms are frustrated that good faith attempts to get people interested are met with every excuse in the book that all eventually boils down to "I don't like watching stuff with women in it as much as I like watching stuff with men in it." And if that's how people feel about it... sometimes the conclusions are going to turn into the more uncharitable take of "fandom hates women."

--

Maybe, but whenever I see a "fandom hates women" reblog of my stuff, one or two reblogs further down the chain I get an overt TERF. I just had to go block several people today, in fact.

The first person to reblog with a comment like that is usually subtle, but their friends and friends of friends are not. The rhetoric that very quickly starts is the fandom equivalent of that "All the butches are becoming trans men! We're losing lesbians!" stuff.

Here's the thing: I've been in ten billion fandoms that were so awesome and fit fandom's supposed tastes to a T and yet no amount of promoting them could get anyone to try the canon. This goes for canons that are all men or all white men or all majority ethnicity men or whatever else.

The default state of media is to not engender a big fic fandom.

I agree that the rare outliers mostly follow certain patterns, but we extrapolate too far when we say that a lack of those patterns is why a fandom is small.

A fandom is small because that's the near-universal default.

--

Yes, a small slice of fandom consists of guilt-ridden queer fujoshi who say they want more f/f but don't make much of a move to make that happen. I tend to run into that a lot because of my own tastes and having friends who share those tastes.

Far more of fandom is people talking generally about how representation matters without saying they would personally join these fandoms if they existed.

Neither group is large enough to be the real reason some woman-heavy canon fails to take off to HP levels.

The real reason is not hypocrisy but the fact that most things don't take off like that. Most things without massive, massive audiences especially don't take off like that. And the very few things that do are flukes and don't actually predict that another similar thing will take off in the future.

--

Go to AO3's tag search. Search for all canonical fandom tags. Sort by uses and descending order.

Right now, I get 64,390 tags.

The first page, 50 tags, goes from HP with 497,845 works to the Thor movies with 59,266 works. By page 6, we're below 10 thousand works.

By the end of page 10, we're down to Labyrinth with 3,906.

Somewhere in the top 500 AO3 fandom tags (many of which are just franchise metatags for each other), we go all the way from megafandoms to medium size and down to relatively modest ones.

That's not a lot of room for a big f/f-heavy fandom given the trends in mainstream media and that mainstream media is where most really big fandoms come from.

--

I also notice that you're conflating a lack of desire to watch something that's primarily about women with a lack of desire to watch something that includes women.

There are tons of fans who want something more like The Mummy with a leading man and leading woman they love.

Granted, that's not me and that's not a lot of my fujoshi/slasher audience, but it's extraordinarily common. I know plenty of people who don't like canons that are only dudes, but since they also don't like canons that are only ladies and they don't ship f/f, this gets spun into "fandom hates women".

--

Let me be clear:

Conflating "lesbians" and "women" is a radfem position.

[chainofclovers]

biscuits 😭

Literally just staying up all night crying about the end of an era and attempting to wrangle 7800 layers of feelings into a thing that can come out in English

But I've been thinking about the biscuits

Not just the croissants she's eating in the scene where we think they've slept together (I refuse to feel baited by that scene btw, even though it and Beard's entrance made me feel like I'd ascended to a new plane of reality; the scene happened for a reason; I'm too tired to go into it; my relationship to heterosexual ships is interesting enough as it is and I don't need to develop a fucking straightbaiting chip on my shoulder and walk around with that; also Ted/Rebecca's incredibly intentional yet incredibly unconsummated-within-the-three-season-arc connection is like every femslash ship I've ever loved; I've decided to just lean into T/R's story being unfinished and to treat the rom-com leave-cute reference as a fond homage to what could be; I'm allowed to be as generous as I want to be with this show and these writers; LMAO; crying my ass off [stilted Scorpio version]; but genuinely--I can be as generous as I want to be and I don't have to hate this if I don't want to hate this)

Anyway

I've been thinking not just about the croissants she's eating in the scene where we think they've slept together, and how those aren't biscuits, but also about how she doesn't tell him she'll miss the biscuits and he doesn't talk about the ritual and he never bakes her biscuits again as far as we can tell and he doesn't give her the recipe

And it hurts but I love it

[[[[ The biscuits are his dick (-- @boglady ) ]]]]

Because it's so intrinsic to who they are that they just don't talk about this ritual engrained in the last 2.5 years of their lives, I think...and sure, sometimes we see Ted reference the biscuits when he walks in with some...but no one notices. Ted's mom doesn't notice. Trent doesn't notice. Higgins notices, but he was involved in the early s1 biscuit taste-testing, and he's all-seeing in a lot of ways so it's different. Lord knows Sassy isn't getting a biscuit even if she's gotten to enjoy Ted's actual dick a few times. Keeley is close enough to notice, but she's suspiciously quiet about it. Beard has to come over and fix Ted's oven all the time, but we never see him comment.

So how perfect is it that in everything Rebecca has to process about Ted leaving, she almost becomes another person who has taken for granted that Ted performs this absolutely deranged gesture of love in baking her biscuits every single week and delivering them to her in a pink box every day...because that's really telling. She puts a lot of work into asking him to stay. She's feeling all kinds of desperate things. She isn't at all like the people who don't see what he's been doing for her; her reasons for never mentioning the biscuits again are nothing like the biscuit-invisibility everyone else experiences. She just can't or won't say anything because the biscuits are untouchable

And in the season 4 that will exist in my head but will almost certainly never be a reality, someday, when they see each other again, he makes her some biscuits and she's so angry she can't eat them

(And then things get better and she does, but not at first)

(This is why I had to take Wednesday off work)

(I'm fuckin' losing it)

[curls-cat]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @petrifiedforests

How many works do you have on ao3?

77... damn

What’s your total ao3 word count?

238,425 not bad all things considered. averages out to about 5k/fic

What fandoms do you write for?

Oh geez. A lot. Um. A lot of Sisters Grimm, a fair amount of Witcher Netflix, a LOT of unpublished stuff for Jeeves and Wooster, Psych, MASH, and a lot more that I like. dabble in?

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Unsurpsringly, they're all Witcher fics, since it's the biggest fandom I've written for

place you hand in mine, how long can this last--geralt is cursed to be really touchy-feely at jaskier.

the saint of never getting it right--geralt and jaskier are in a relationship. sort of. they have to talk about pda. it goes. uh. well. it goes.

a garden as fragile as glass--my first witcher fic and probably the only one without a tad title, it's a beauty and the beast retelling

you don't have to say it darling, but i wouldn't mind if you did--oh look this one doesn't have a tad title either! morons to lovers--geralt thinks they're in a relationship but jaskier has no idea

however wide and deep and far my dear--selkie!jaskier au

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes! not always very quickly but I try my hardest to at least send a thank you or some heart emojis. i want to make friends I'm just so bad at being timely and also am the most awkward man in the world i am so sorry

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending

Uh, posted on AO3 is probably The Saint of Never Getting it Right. I wrote it in a fit of post-s2 grumpiness. On ff.net there's almost definitely a bunch of major character death stuff that I wrote as an angsty teeennnn oh WAIT NO THE ANGSTIEST FIC I EVER WROTE WAS A FANFIC FOR PEANUTS WHERE SNOOPY FUCKING DIED. PEANUTS THE COMIC STRIP. (in my defense it was a vent fic i wrote when we put my cat down)

Do you get hate on fics?

Not usually these days but I did get some homophobic comments on some femslash I crossposted on ff.net. i don't go there anymore.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have... tried. I'm not very good at it.

Do you write crossovers?

No, and I probably won't. I don't quite get the appeal, tbh? I like universe-swap AUs, but I don't really want to play with characters from different universes together.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yeah, actually! Back in ye olde days some people put one of my fics up on Wattpad! I made an account there purely to get them taken down. It happened TWICE.

Have you ever had a fic translated? no! I'd love it if that ever happened, but I don't think I'm quite big enough.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not one that's ever been finished, though yes-and headcanoning in chats is my favorite game ever

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Ah geez. I mean Puckabrina is the cradle that raised me but Geraskier is so dang good, and Redbrina is so much softer than anything else.... Dunno, man. It changes.

What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

My Geraskier roommates AU is a lot of fun, but it's. Huge. I don't know if it'll ever be done.

What are your writing strengths?

Oh I LOVE to write a panic attack thought spiral <3333 it's so good to write a run-on sentence that just keeps going and hurting you

What are your writing weaknesses?

Finishing.... Sitting down and plugging it all in. I miss the days when I could bang out a chapter of a longfic a week.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I probably wouldn't, because I am a big ol' monolingual and I don't want to throw in a ton of stuff in a language I'm not fluent in. What if someone who does speak the language finds it and sees my high school spanish?

First fandom you wrote for?

The Sisters Grimm! Book series for twelve-year-olds that has remained important to me well into adulthood despite being... uh... of dubious quality. They're still very funny!

Favorite fic you’ve written?

hrm. there's a bit of a recency bias here but i'm very proud of how well i nailed the voices on Friends with (Tax) Benefits

no pressure tagging @witcher-and-his-bard @skeletons-mama @a-kind-of-merry-war

Blank copy/pasta version under the cut

How many works do you have on ao3?

How many works do you have on ao3?

What’s your total ao3 word count?

What fandoms do you write for?

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Do you get hate on fics?

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Do you write crossovers?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

What are your writing strengths?

What are your writing weaknesses?

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

First fandom you wrote for?

Favorite fic you’ve written?

[melodybottles]

ok happy wip wmonday this is mostly rune factory ft. one (1) romijuli. most of these did not escape the sketch phase (and the two that did... did not get far, as pictured) but they're all things i had intent to complete at some point.

commentary is below the cut if anyone is curious about my thoughts on anything i've drawn here

for piece commentary..... well first off i also had a shara/sofia sketch that got corrupted bc sai loves doing that at random and it's part of why i want to move away from using it :-( second off

(drops to my knees) PLEASEP PLEASE PLEASE.... CONSIDER PIA/RAVEN..... PLEEEEEEEASE oh the things i could say about those two regarding their own isolation / alienation due to being nonhuman and how despite the fact they've both found a place for themselves they still feel Othered and Lonely at the core. i think they could work on that together once raven gets out of her shell a little bit. the meeting of sea and sky. fire and water. please understand. (the one w raven in bird form is actually even based on the caelum et ocean story set from love nikki bc it made me think of them LOL)

dolce/forte is also like... please consider them. there's something really funny about the knight who's afraid of ghosts and the ghost whisperer. but i also think they have really compatible personalities and forte's generally headstrong nature could go well with dolce's quieter way of doing things. i think dolce would find flustering her funny. but not in like... a harassing way. just in a way where she knows how to make her blush a little bit. i like them

romijuli..... well you see (i open my mouth and begin screaming) (i do not stop screaming) (if you listen closely enough you can detect a garbled string of sounds that loosely translates to 'READ PERFORMANCE')

for the 5 doodles.... priscilla ended up being my favourite rf5 girl to my immense surprise LOL so i developed a habit of sketching her a lot in 2022. fat priscilla. please understand. reblog. i also really liked priscilla/lucy at first bc they're like... obvious, and while my interest in them waned for various reasons (one being a lamentation that they'd become The One Femslash Pairing^tm of the game where people don't really consider anything else bc they have that one...) i still like that doodle.

and lastly. ray and alicia r my favourite sibling steup in all of rf and i think they're both transgender. i hope this helps. (idk solidly what direction i see ray as trans in but whatever the case. ray is not cis to me. love and light)

[autisticandroids]

14 & 22 for the end of year asks :-)

[questions here]

14. Something new you tried this year

so this was a big year for me for longform explorations of non-destiel pairings. which i haven't really done before.

first was wink, which was kind of in many ways now that i think about it, a trial run for what the year would become. it was shorter and not really on an external deadline in the same way (the other two were for bangs, which are pretty serious, but wink was for @spntoxicfemslashevent, which is as far as i can tell pretty lax about "deadlines" and such) and i think most importantly it was about a character who i didn't have that many pre-existing ideas about? like fundamentally wink is a character study of cassie and i just don't feel like i know cassie that well, so writing it felt like a process of getting to know her, rather than a process of trying to translate thoughts i already had into plot and character beats. i could shape the character i was understanding her to be around the necessities of having an arc and a story, i wasn't constrained by a predetermined specific set of personality traits and prior experiences that i was deeply invested in conveying.

obviously that comes with its own minefield. one reason that i'm often hesitant to play in a supernatural femslash space when it comes to other people's fic is that characters can end up voids of personality, squashed into the same five or six pre-made molds like dolls wearing different wigs. and this goes triple for single episode characters like cassie. so i did work really hard to ground cassie in her canonical appearance. i grounded her arc in the death of her father which is like, the main thing we learn about her in the show. i grounded her in cape girardeau (i actually researched some stuff about the city. not much but a bit). i grounded her in her job. i grounded her in the fact that she was willing to have her skepticism shaken by new evidence. i tried to work hard to produce a character and personality actually based in the character and personality we saw in the episode. but there's still only so far you can take it.

and there were other things that made wink simpler to write. it's got a straightforward horror arc which is really where i prefer to play. actually if you're wondering why so many of my pwp fics play out Like That it's because i use horror arcs a lot. like in the end that's just a very simple style for me to write in.

it's also more a character study than a romance. i spent more time with cassie than actually trying to make you buy cassie/meg, which is much easier for me.

and then of course, i know meg very well but i didn't need to bother to really dig into her or show her complexity at all, so that was easy. plus it was a treat to play in a meg 1.0 space, i never do that. a meg who is actively possessing meg masters and whose father is alive is an interesting doll to play with.

but also in the end meg is straightforwardly the villain of this piece. which means she's a convenient rock to throw at cassie. i didn't have to invent any rocks to throw at cassie i already had one built in.

so that's a lot of reasons wink was a lot simpler than the other two fics i want to talk about.

the second one i wrote was not him/not her/not me and this one was actually the hardest! i'm honestly still not totally happy with it, there was a lot of... i guess... meaning that i wanted to put into it that i just don't feel like got conveyed. i'm happier than i thought i would be, though, i think. if i rewrote this, i don't actually know if i would add any scenes, just make the ones in it longer, maybe. i don't know, maybe have more scene repetition. spend more time with cas' guilt towards her.

anyway, i hear you, you're saying megstiel? megstiel was your most difficult fic of the year? megstiel? the megstiel you've ALREADY written a fic for? that megstiel? and to that i say: yes. the thing about a post-canon megstiel is that... they actually lack a lot of tension? a lot of the tension in their relationship was circumstantial, not actually internal really. things kept happening to both of them to cause problems but they didn't really cause problems for each other. certainly not once they were both on the same side.

and if there were problems, it was cas causing problems for meg. like, she's the one who's embarrassed to have squishy little feelings for him. she's the one causing problems for herself to help him. and she's the one who feels left out in the cold when he goes running after sam and dean. so if one is writing from her perspective, there are rocks to be thrown. but for cas? meg has legitimately been pretty much nothing but a positive presence in his life. which means that the conflict basically has to be externally generated. and i wanted to be in cas' head. so.

the other thing is that, like. this was a reverse bang, right? it was for the @spnangelsanddemons-rb. and i saw this super cool art of cas and meg in the empty by @hawkland and i was like okay fab i love to think about cas and meg in the empty. cas and meg afterlife hangouts has been a frequent topic of contemplation for me since i read this fic. and i was fresh off writing he's gonna take my files for the @deancas-stabfest and i felt like there were still meat on those bones. specifically i had intentionally omitted cas' non-dean related memories from that fic for various reasons, but i felt like if i chose a theme to vamp on, instead of just "general bad memories," i could successfully venture outside that limited scope. but the thing is i didn't realize that putting a different spin on a similar premise is like. really hard. especially because like. personally i honestly think he's gonna take my files is really good? like it's a fic of mine that i like a lot. and i think that set me up for dissatisfaction with not him/not her/not me.

i also struggled with my theme? like the sort of direct parallel [parent figure (evil version) -> replacement god -> each other] was fun in theory but it was hard to make it work. mostly actually because differentiating between meg's relationship to azazel and her relationship with lucifer is kind of hard.

and then also while i was working on this fic i wrote the fic dog pit, mostly because i was already playing in that space for not him/not her/not me, like that's where dog pit came from. and that worked really well but then i had to find a way to not just basically rewrite dog pit for nhnhnm (<- good lord look at that acronym i've never typed it out before).

so really stressful and hard fic experience, like just much more difficult than you might expect.

then of course i also wrote every relationship has its stuff. which was somewhat less difficult than nhnhnm but a lot more work, obviously. it's the longest fic i've ever posted to ao3, which isn't that long, just 10k, but it was a lot for ME.

i ended up having a lot of similar experiences working on erhis as the other two. it has a kind of similar basic premise to wink in that it's about two young people dating in [a twisted version of] a pretty normal way. erhis was actually harder in this regard because at least in wink they were kind of doing girlbestfriendisms? erhis was kind of hard to create meaningful romantic tension because jack was quite literally doing exactly what people expected of him at all times. it's hard to make it clear what he wants and what he's just doing because he assumes he's supposed to because he's literally doing what he's supposed to. the furthest he steps outside that boundary re: harper specifically is 1) lying about her to tfw in the first few scenes and 2) being into it when she gets scary.

and then of course erhis has some intensely similar themes to nhnhnm. they're both basically immediately oedipal stories. they're about how the main characters are doomed to recreate their own worst parental relationships throughout their adult lives. except erhis is more constrained than nhnhnm because i don't really bring up jack's history. (man, that was also like crazymaking. i had to keep repeating trust your audience trust your audience to myself so that i could convince myself that people would like, remember the vibe in season fourteen and get what i was doing).

i've talked about this but it was often a struggle to write the harper scenes because like. i've already talked about this above with cassie, but she's a one episode character. except with harper it's hardmode because 1) she's not the main character of the fic so i have way less opportunity to draw her out, 2) i am trying to actually make her appealing. whatever else is going on in erhis i do want it to be in some way legitimately a romance fic, so i need harper to charm both jack and the audience at least somewhat? in a way meg didn't need to in wink because in the end that's horror. she's the villain. and 3) relatedly i needed harper to be more complex than just like. evil crazygirl. i wanted her to have personality beyond that and also to be grayer than that. in the end it's important that despite the fact that jack is kind of dating a little copy of dean in a lot of ways, he's also kind of getting his freedom through doing that. it's more complex than plain replication and it is a place where jack has power in his life. despite how much dating harper replicates his formative household lol. and i also, like nhnhnm and unlike wink, wanted there to be a degree of mutuality. as much as jack is the guy that went on a second date with the girl who kidnapped him for a first one, harper is the girl who went on a third date with the guy who infodumped to her about killing people with guns for a second date. as much as there is a specific kind of toxicity coming from harper that jack is specifically drawn to because it reminds him of dean, they are both the children of serial killer dynasties and there is a kind of sick innocence to their mutual derangement. neither of them really comprehend the idea that it's bad to kill people on an intellectual level, even as both of them exhibit visceral disturbance reactions to the reality of violence.

anyway writing harper and jack-and-harper was often a struggle. i frequently found myself feeling like the scenes between jack and his dads were tasty little treats to keep me going between the scenes of jack alone in his room or interacting with harper, which were a lot harder. like sam, dean, and cas are all rocks to throw at jack and i know them very well. i couldn't let harper just be a rock to throw at jack she needed her own stuff going on. also this was kind of a low conflict fic.

i want to compare it to i fold in half so easily, because there's definitely a similar vibe there in terms of a quiet domestic holding pattern fic where it's mostly about underlying sickness in relationships, but things are way more understated in erhis, for a lot of reasons. one is that the primary source of rock throwing and the love interest are, y'know, different, so you can't just have every love scene double as a rock throwing scene, lol. another is that i've, y'know, become a better writer. i look back on ifihse and it feels overblown and obvious in a way that makes me cringe, as much as i have a lot of affection for it. so i wanted to be subtler. and then of course there's the fact that in a destiel fic you expect dean dean to be a good guy, you know? he gets some benefit of the doubt. so there is some complexity lent there by virtue of him being the main character of supernatural. but harper is less the villain of erhis than dean is of ifihse, and harper is a minor, one episode villain in the show. she's exactly the type of character a fanfic writer would cast as unequivocally evil. so i had to work harder to avoid that assumption, you know?

anyway that's the new thing i did this year.

22. An idea you had that didn’t make the cut

this is hard because generally speaking an idea hasn't "failed to make the cut" until i've forgotten it, it's just been postponed. however, squeeze, which reached its final incarnation this year when i published it as a fluffy normie destiel smut fic, started out its life as this fic. the one i posted about in 2021 where i was like imagine if it was established destiel but cas told dean he'd watched dean and lisa fuck. but i just couldn't make it work so that fic it still in the pipeline.

[veliseraptor]

17 and 18 for the "choose violence" asks?

there should be more of this type of fic/art: okay, there's all kinds of things where I'm like "I desperately want more of this, why isn't there more of this" but I kind of feel like for most of those it's not that there's none of it so much as I just want more. so I'm just going to say that I think fandom needs more fucked up femslash.

like. look. Liu Mingyan/Sha Hualing is great and what I want from it is something really digging into the messiness of that relationship - not even fucked up per se but just the fact that it's righteous cultivator/demon, or to put it even more bluntly madonna/whore, and like...poking at that, and their relationships with sexuality, and the potential humor but also potential complications...but I feel like what I've found for them, with a couple exceptions, is mostly either (a) just smut or (b) nice lesbians having a good time.

or Lucille Sharpe/Edith from Crimson Peak! admittedly I have found more of this one but there could still be so much more and it is such a relationship and there is so much potential for fucked up smut here and this is one where lately I've honestly been like "maybe I just have to write it myself" because I feel like I could.

you know what I need to go look for? Qiyan Agula/Nangong Jingnu fic. but I bet there's not enough of it.

and I know I could be contributing to this and I'm not, #part of the problem, but also I am one writer and I just think...idk, I feel like people have ended up with this idea that femslash is the nice and sweet pairing zone and I would like more deranged f/f relationship dynamics, please and thank you.

(callout post for Kushiel's Legacy which has a mere 31/328 fics that are tagged for Phedre/Melisandre, it's right there. baby's first fucked up femslash ship and I stand by it)

it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...: well, I feel like some of the above could also go here, but in the interests of answering something else...I feel like there is so much potential in Mu Qing's relationship with honestly most characters other than Feng Xin (not that that relationship isn't great!), particularly Xie Lian, and I don't think it gets poked at nearly enough.

as far as CQL goes I personally could use a lot more fic about Xue Yang's fast times at Jinlintai, particularly fic that doesn't make Jin Guangyao the bad guy in one way or another. the potential for Jin Ling babysitting fic alone, I wrote one but there could be more.

also just personally there's not nearly enough whump in the vegaspete part of kinnporsche fandom and if I write any more of it myself I'm going to feel silly. which won't stop me but think of how silly I'll feel

[primewritessmut]

6, 13, 20, free space (pick one you wanna answer!)

6. write 3 sentences of any wip you’d like, post it in the answer.

do i have to say what the wip is or...?

Shame that, the rings on the guy’s hands would have made the next few weeks of his life very easy. But he was one of those laissez-faire kinds. People were gonna do what they were gonna do and he wasn’t too pressed about any of it. The tide went in, and the tide went out, and all he tried to do was stay dry.

Perhaps that was its game. A lure. Fantastical and brutal and beautiful in its own way. A siren hidden beneath a yellow wood but instead of singing it simply existed, and that was draw enough.

He flopped boneless onto the loveseat pushed back against one wall. It was a recent addition to the office that, as far as she could tell, had been purchased solely for the purposes of lounging around roguishly on the off chance an attractive person wandered into the room. He knew his angles.

13. what’s a wip that you’re determined to actually post within this month/the next few months?

*pulls up writing calendar like an absolute nerd*

i have two answers for this bc there's the "i just want to get it done so i never have to think about it again" answer and the "i must finish this because i have to know how it ends" answer.

there's an epilogue that i've been slogging through for an old semi-original fic that i really want to finish by the end of this month. but it has a polyamory element that i'm struggling to do justice to so it's kind of been languishing. on the other side, i'd love to wrap up gwen and mj's soulmate fic in the next month or two. i think they're going to give me a little more trouble than that, but i'm... optimistic.

20. how do you usually come up with story ideas?

they just.. appear? magically? in my brain?

but really i think i'm always playing this huge game of "yes, and..." like a lot of my story ideas, for fics and original work, can be traced back to other media i've gotten into (books, podcasts, movies, comics, etc.). i don't always notice it until i stop to think about it so i live in constant fear of plagiarizing someone bc all my story ideas are just me constantly getting incredibly excited and deciding "yes, i like this and what if it was like this instead?" which is how i end up with lesbian superheroes or gun play in my wips folder.

also sometimes i just REALLY want to write a specific scene or idea or trope and then end up writing an entire fic around it. like right now i have a wip that i specifically started bc i wanted to write some more monsterfucking outside of symbrock. or the gwen and mj fic that started bc i just wanted to write some femslash.

FREE SPACE: 10. how many wips do you actually have right now? 

i picked this mostly bc i wanted to know but have been too afraid to look. so why not use this game to do uncomfortable things!

oh yikes. i have 18 wips right now.

WIP ask game

[virginiaplain64]

Dear Yuletide writer

Thanks so much for being a part of the exchange this year. Whether you are a newbie or veteran, please have fun. I love all my fandoms and characters equally. I hope I'm giving you something to work with, but if you need to go ODAO, go for it.

I'd love treats and I promise to be a "good egg" commenter.

Special thanks if you're picking this up from the pinch-hit list and/or happened on the request and chose to write a treat.

DNWs for ALL fandoms-Mpreg, scat, Omega-verse, dewclaws, body horror, ultra violence, right-wing propaganda.

@@@@@

Fandom: She Went Pop-Song-Iam Siam

Characters:

Rena Devere

Rena’s agent.

Waterfront Reporter

Man in the Street

This is just a great vignette of a song, but there are so many questions and possibilities for a story.

I’d love a noir-style mystery. What really happened to Rena? What is her agent not telling us? Why was she already “barely alive” when she got to California? Was he in love with her? Did she know something about him? I think the Waterfront Reporter should try and solve the mystery….either hampered or assisted (or both) by Rena’s Agent.  I can see the Man In The Street being involved as well….how did he just happen to be there? Is he really devastated or is he involved in the death as well? Slashy interactions among the men would be awesome. I realize I've always thought of Agent and Reporter as male, but they don't have to be...so het or femslash is on the table as well. Man in the Street is presumably male, unless you know something I don't. If so, feel free to share.

If not the actual mystery of what happened to Rena, then something about how any or all of the other characters are affected in the aftermath. 

I'm even up for a "happy" ending. Maybe Rena isn't dead? Mistaken identity, faked death, wakes up in the ambulance? Did agent help....was Man In The Street involved?

This could be Rena's recovery story as she realizes afterwards how close she came to dying and manages to clean up her act....with help of any of the other characters...or realizing she has to do it for and by herself. 12 Step programs always appreciated.

I'm fine with any amount of 80's sex and drugs related kink and degradation. For this fandom, I'm also OK with the possibility of rape as part of what happened to Rena...or anybody else in her sphere.

Don't worry if you don't vibe with all the characters. Feel free to omit any, even if we matched on all of them. While I see a place for all of them, you might find Man On The Street or one of the others superfluous. No problem.

I'm just super excited to get any fic for Poor Poor Rena and this amazing song.

@@@@@@@

Pundit RPF

Anderson Cooper

Stephen Colbert

Fandom Specific DNW-Rape or sexual assault. Either Anderson or Stephen being a rapist, abuser, sex-pest etc. Killing Evie.

I'm requesting this because of Anderson's podcast on grief, particularly this episode:

And this conversation:

There's already a lot of "canon" death associated with the characters and the part of their relationship I'm fascinated by, so all of those are fair game. The only thing I'm absolutely DNW-ing is (physically) hurting or killing Evie.

I’m fine with infidelity, OT3 or open relationship if you want to include Evie or any of Anderson's partners (canon or fanon.)  My favorite Stephen is “guilt-ridden bi-sexual Stephen” who totally adores Evie and also gets completely consumed with “forbidden” lust for various men….Jon, Keith Olbermann etc. (a part of me is still lost in the 2000's) and this slow burn thing with Anderson, which would have remained pining out of deference for Evie and for Anderson’s relationship, if not for the raw emotion of these grief conversations.

I love how far Stephen has come since he had to hide behind the "Colbert Report" persona. If you want to do something from the Covid period with Stephen doing his show from the attic and Stephen/Anderson having to communicate via Zoom and such until they can actually be together, that's great. Maybe they start getting closer after Gloria dies in 2019....but the pandemic starts before it gets too far.

I'm so struck by Anderson's vulnerability about his father, brother and mother in the podcast and the way he and Stephen talk so openly and the rawness...I see so much potential for hurt/comfort, but also Stephen dealing with both the guilt over Evie or not wanting to take advantage of Anderson's vulnerability....but who could resist indefinitely?

Also, back in the day, I feel the fic dynamic usually made Anderson the more attractive and unattainable one, but honestly, I could see Anderson very much having the crush and longing toward Stephen, but always resisting because of Evie, Stephen's guilt and his own relationship. In other words, Stephen is just as much of a hottie....although he may not see himself that way.

These two are also savvy about shippers, so if either one wants to mention it...by all means. I'll never forget the Colbert Report when Anderson was on and Stephen said, "Ladies, start your fanfics."

Feel free to incorporate any other "characters," including Evie, Anderson's ex, the kids and any one else in the pundit verse or show-biz that you'd like to include as participants or bystanders with opinions.

Anything BTS of Anderson's recent appearance on Stephen's show, including that conversation about "comments on porn sites." Some "pure" PWP after that .... complete with Porn watching together? Yummy.

I don't have any "pure" gen prompts, but I'm fine if the relationship remains all UST and pining....and again ODAO.

Repeating-DNW Rape, noncon, sexual assualt, either character being a creep, rapist, abuser, sex-pest.

I would be open to dub-con to the extent that something happens with one or both under the influence, or something happening in a hurt comfort scenario and one or both wondering if they had taken advantage, leading to angst, guilt remorse. I'd prefer it all to end up more or less happily sorted, but I'm not adamant on pure fluff here.

@@@@@@

Fandom:British Travel Show RPF

Characters 

Michael Portillo

Joanna Lumley

DNW-Rape, sexual assault. Michael as villain, sex-pest, rapist, evil etc.

Hello lovely Yuletide writer, if you share my passion for the "Verse" of British Travel Shows, I hope you also share my fascination with Michael Portillo and his garish colour combinations, his willingness to indulge in horrible puns, dancing, goofy travel antics, as well as speak solemnly about his family, especially regarding the Spanish Civil War and especially his passion for trains.

Every time I see Dame Joanna Lumley on a train during one of her amazing travel shows, I can't help thinking about her running into Michael on one of his. Even though they are on extreme opposite ends of the political spectrum, I just want them together in some way, preferably in some fabulous place.

I feel that Michael is effectively out of politics and even though still a Tory, and still enamoured of Margaret Thatcher, he seems to have redeemed himself on most social issues. (His The Trouble With The Tories programmes showed how much he no longer feels like part of the party.) Of course Joanna may very much think otherwise and give him what-all....while still doing a bit of flirting perhaps?

Maybe he's a closet AbFab fanboy. Maybe they find common cause over the Gurkhas. He loves Empire and she was born in the Raj. He can be charming and she is gorgeous. I'd love anything from witty banter and flirting over a meal in a dining coach (or one of their private rooms) or some amazingly romantic scenic location, to an actual "Brief Encounter," to a full on romance if you want to go that way. I know they're both married. I'm cool with infidelity....whether in the context of devil-may-care open relationships or a bit of angst-ridden guilt, overcome by the passion of the moment. I also love Joanna's podcast with her husband, so if you want to include Stephen Barlow in any capacity, be my guest. (Michael and Joanna can also bond over their love of Classical Music.)

If you'd rather do pure Gen, some kind of wacky travel adventure either to a place they've both done or some thing new. They could talk about shared interest in environmentalism....dish about the royals....compare disillusion with their respective political "sides." Or keep politics out of it all together....just comparing some of their journeys.

If the characters are tricksy to write---let their respective camera crews and production teams have a chat or some side activity....or let one of the characters do a walk on during a Piece To Camera.

You could go meta with the Travel Show tropes, or double meta with a viewer watching the story unfold during what should have been an "average" Portillo train show or Joanna Lumley adventure and suddenly wondering WTF is going on?

I'm personally only requesting Michael and Joanne, but I'm happy to have any other "characters" in the UK Travel Show verse make appearances in whatever capacity you choose, especially if the whole Michael/Joanna thing as a ship isn't working for you and you'd rather go in a different direction. You never know who might turn up at a destination, complete with film crew: Joe Lycett, Giles Coren, Susan Calman, Griff Rhys Jones, Ramesh Ranganathan, Robson Green, Richard E. Grant doing one of those hotel shows....or even OG Travel Presenter Michael Palin or anyone else from British show biz who has been filmed traipsing about with a scenic location .

NONE of these are "requests," just possibilities if you're a British Travel Show fanatic who loves all these other presenters and happened to match on my particular Michael/Joanna request and isn't all that excited by it.

Since Michael can come off as quite a bit camp and has acknowledged same-sex relationships at Uni, I'm fine with some m/m for him as well, maybe with Joanne catching him in the act....or even playing matchmaker. Or her thinking he wouldn't be interested in her for that reason and being (pleasantly) surprised.

And if Joanne wakes up the morning after and decides a talk with her good friend Jennifer Saunders is in order, once the gentleman is out of earshot....by all means.

Please have fun.

Just to reiterate...DNW for this fandom-Rape, sexual assault, non-con, dub-con. Michael as sexual predator, rapist, sex-pest.)

(I realize ship-fic will require a possible level of infidelity, and I'm fine with any angst or guilt around that on either of their parts, but if there is any intimacy, I'd want it to be 100% consensual.)

If you see him as a pompous jerk with dodgy political views on the economy, no worries and I'm happy for Michael and Joanna to be verbally sparring over the issues, which finding each other attractive, amusing, charming etc. But I do not want him as an evil, horrible rapist etc.

@@@@@

Fandom:

Beau of the Fifth Column (Webseries)

DNW for this fandom: Rape, sexual assault, noncon, dubcon. Beau being a bad guy, villain, sex-pest etc.

Characters:

Beau

Belle

I realize this request seems inherently political, but in this case, I'm really more interested in their relationship than the events they're currently commenting on. Beau and Belle are almost the only political commentators I can watch for very long because their demeanour helps reduce the inherent anxiety of watching American politics right now.

I love the "backstory" of the channel and the Beau of the Fifth Column persona coming out of the discrepancy between someone looking and sounding like Beau, but being the complete political opposite of the assumptions people made about him. Now that Belle has taken over as the face of the channel, I'm absolutely entranced with her and desperately want fic for them and their relationship. I'd love anything that incorporates her background in the military and her work as a nurse.

I love these two so much. I'm interested in any thing you want to write about them. Expanding on their back stories and how they got together. Slice of life including the kids, the dogs, the horses. (Shaving a horse day would be a hoot.) Having them react to individual real-life events.

I'm especially fascinated with the period leading up to Belle taking over as the face of the channel and what went on behind the scenes. They clearly adore each other and it must have been hard for her to seem him pushing himself so hard. How tough did she have to be to tell him it was time to take time off...what exactly did that conversation look and sound like?

While I enjoyed his take on things, I'm absolutely fascinated and enchanted by hers. I sometimes imagine Beau watching her videos and just being in awe. Her expressions and the slow blink can speak volumes.

Schmoopy stuff, sexy times, curtains, staying safe during the hurricane(s).

Behind the scenes at her first video? How she feels about finding her voice on screen? Buying flannel shirts. Her becoming "Belle," instead of "Mrs. Beau."

On the "Roads With Beau," she mentioned that apparently people have "accused" him of transitioning and saying that she IS Beau....and she just wouldn't bother denying it because that gives in to transphobia. If you want to take that idea and run with it, I'd be ok with that.

Obviously real-world events are going to be unfolding before, during and after the writing process, but regardless of how those shake out, I'm really just interested in how Beau and Belle are together, so don't worry about anything particularly topical unless something happens that you really like as a story point.

Let me re-emphasize-DNW-Rape, sexual assault, non-con, dub-con, abuse. I'm sure they've had their problems and I'm happy to have a story with some conflict, but not that kind.

It's just a thought. Y'all have a good day!

[blackbird-brewster]

for the fic ask thing. 2, 13, 27 for folled around

Thanks Anon!

2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?

Okay, I was actually surprised by this! Here are my top five additional tags: Tumblr Prompt (36) Fluff (35) Canon Queer Character of Colour (33) << LOVE YOU TARA LEWIS! Angst (22) Friends to Lovers (9) I did NOT think I had more fluff than angst tbrh! (This doesn't account for things tagged as both, so we're just gonna take this at face value). That really has been the biggest difference in my current writing vs my old stuff. When I first started writing Jemily, I was going through the worst years of my life and that was very clearly reflected in my writing. While now, I'm very contented in life and my writing is much more fluffy. (Even my heavy angst like [i can't be wrong (to be craving you)] is a lot different -- I didn't kill anyone in it!)

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore?

I think I have plenty of old stuff that's jealous love triangle dynamics (JJ/Emily & Will), but I'm too old for jealousy and honestly, I'm far too polyam to write that stuff now. I'll let everyone else write that and I'm just going to keep focusing on writing healthy polyam and open relationships, because we don't have enough fic exploring these type of relationships. I think for me, I'm just done with heternormativity and comhet tomfoolery in fic writing. Even though I exclusively write femslash, in the past I've still written fics that follow a heteronormative relationship. They get together, they move in together, they get engaged, they get married, they have kids, etc. Now I much more prefer to write stories where getting married and 'settling down' aren't the end goal. Because I'm a 35 year old nonbinary queer who doesn't want to ever be married again, nor am I ever having kids, and I want to write stuff that makes other people like me feel represented.

27. How long did it take to write [Fooled Around (and Fell in Love)]? Describe the process.

Fooled Around (Part 1) was a revamp of something I found in my archives that I'd written in 2015. It was basically a Jemily scene-for-scene remake of 'Imagine Me & You' (one of my fave films!). I had already written a few chapters for it but never finished it. I have no idea why the writing spirit returned to me after a seven year retirement, but when I found that in my archives I was struck with inspiration. While I started it by following some of my original ideas, the fic began taking on a life of it's own as soon as Tara was introduced around Ch 8. She was only meant to have a one-night stand with Emily, because this was still very much a Jemily end-game fic....but as soon as Tara/Emily happened, I scrapped my original plans. And that's how the polyamorous theme was born. Part one is 80,000 words... it was written in it's entirety in TEN days. Absolutely gobsmacked to this day. Part 1 originally had an epilogue that hinted at JJ/Emily/Tara forming a throuple (instead of Emily dating each woman individually), but before it was posted I said 'Well, now I want to know how that happened!' And Part 2 was born from that simple question: How did Tara and JJ end up dating each other as well? Part 2 is a bit longer (it was my longest fic to date before 'i can't be wrong', standing at 87,000 words. I wrote all of it in about two weeks. IDK what it is about this AU, but it sort of writes it's self. I let the characters steer the story and don't fret too much about planning, which makes it much easier to write. Currently, I already have 30k+ on Part 3 and it's still barely getting started. I'm really excited to see where this one goes!

Send Me [Fic Writer Asks]

[project-sekai-facts]

thanks so much for the addition!! i hope you don't mind me adding your tags on ^^"

as someone who has played multiple other games in this sort of genre, prsk definitely is that game which has the most cnesorship by a mile. Like that parechu example from bandori honestly isn't that bad? I think the JP part for the second sentence is better, but EN made the I love you part honestly even more shippy than it was in the original text. And although I haven't played bandori for a long time now, I really don't recall them trying to work around every single usage of the word love or whatever like proseka does.

D4DJ doesn't really do it either, I can maybe think of a couple instances, but the fandom is very small so fan TLs and JP content is pretty hard to come by. Also it's literally like one or two poorly translated lines, you can very much still tell where there's romantic feelings written in because it's left in like 99% of the time. Maybe it's not the fairest comparison considering how explicitly queer D4DJ is, but still, proseka does have quite a bit of shiptease and sometimes outright subtext, and only occassionally does it actually make it to the EN server.

I have no clue why it's just proseka (i don't know enough about enstars to comment, i know there's issues with Arashi, but idk if there's any subtext between the boys that has been edited). Maybe they think it's too controversial or something? But come on, shipping is a big thing in idol game fan communities - worldwide - and especially the slash and femslash pairings are very popular and a big selling point. D4DJ literally got more popular after they added Hayate and Kokoa (who are canonically dating). Especially in online spaces (where y'know, the game gets free promotion via word of mouth) idol games are incredibly popular amongst queer people, a lot of people get into project sekai for things like that, and are incredibly unsubtle about it in twitter interactions, so it's... definitely a strange decision being made by staff.

Even weirder that An/Kohane content is rarely being altered (and maybe it's because some of their interactions can't be altered for various reasons, but also they're like, the only characters in the game to regularly get daisuki translated as i love you from what i remember). As a counter point to the an/kohane thing, me and some friends discussed that maybe they give them a pass because An is very affectionate and because of that then maybe it could be read in a platonic way when she says "i love you", but as a counter-counter point her relationship with kohane is outright described as them "seeing each other" in her Peak Excitement card story. It's... odd.

what's most surprising is that ensekai is definitely the highest budget out of the main idol games on the market rn. as far as i know, the en server is primarily operated by SoA, and I assume they're doing the translations because i don't think clpl has a branch for that and uh, why would they remove stuff they wrote in the first place? I dunno what sega's deal is either, considering some of their other franchises have queer characters. Obviously this game has a specific branch working on it, but you get my point - what the fuck sega?

i mean the en server is probably the most poorly managed of the bunch, which really. says something. censors aside, the translations can generally be pretty crappy. constant typos that never get fixed, even to the point of literally giving false information about a character and then contradicting that in the same sentence because they fucked half of it up. not to mention "that's showbiz baby" which you might remember if you've been here since launch, and also the fact the writers often struggle with rui's more poetic ways of speaking (good example here if you ignore the actual fact and just focus on the official vs fan TL). there was also the struggle with translating aibou in the earlier days too, which... might've been because they wanted to avoid the possible romantic connotations of the english word "partner". ensekai is just really poor for something presumably really high budget and something this popular.

i kinda steered away from my original point a bit there but ensekai just disappoints me a lot. there's always been censorship or otherwise "toning down" of queer subtext.

take this example from the mmj main story. admittedly "having feelings for someone" kinda makes this more shippy, but you'll never fucking guess what she says in the original text (suki. she says suki. "feelings" is a roundabout way of them saying "love"). like sure i could excuse the examples from the main story at the time because the translation was still Fine i guess, but it's at a point now where it's very obviously intentional. as you said, it's malicious, and it's erasure. sure the writing is ambiguous in the original version at times, but the fact that EN isn't even trying with the ambiguity and is just straight up getting rid of even vague things is, and i'm gonna fucking say it plainly, homophobia.

How are we feeling about ensekai’s emu3 translation!!! (I’m mad)

(if you remember the 3 whole posts i made when asahi got de-gayed on EN you'll know i am mad too and that this is probably going to get long)

i don't like to be too cynical but it was so obvious that they were going to change that line, i had a feeling since the event first released on JP and after the incident with Asahi where I went through and tracked down multiple other examples of EN removing queer subtext it became clear to me that in no way shape or form was "emu-chan really loves nene-chan" making it to EN without getting changed. what i didn't expect was them changing Nene's line after Luka's comment, which actually makes this whole situation far worse than many of their other instances of toning down queer subtext.

for anyone who isn't aware of what happened, in chapter 5 of the current Emu event, there's a scene where Nene, Rui and the Virtual Singers are talking about what would cheer Emu up. The vsingers all talk about how much Emu loves spending time with Nene, leading to the following exchange

If you look for them, any fan TL of this scene will be something similar to this:

Luka: ...Fufu. Emu-chan really loves Nene-chan, doesn't she? Nene: Th-that's nothing special...

EN's official translation is this:

So what's the issue? I'll start with Luka's part. In the original text, she uses the word daisuki, which can mean to "like a lot" or "love". It's a word you will see frequently in the idol/idol-adjacent genre of games, due to its ambiguity in that it can be read as either platonic or romantic when used towards a person, and often will be used in ambiguous situations so that it's harder to confirm the writers' intentions either way. so here, fans of the emu/nene ship could view the fact that emu loves spending her time with nene as more on the romantic side, but people who don't like the ship could view it as platonic and move on.

while they didn't translate daisuki directly, Luka's line still works, and still contains the ambiguity that works as ship tease in the original text. it's a perfectly fine localisation that still conveys the original intent. despite that, there is something to be said about EN's consistent refusal to translate daisuki as love in most instances when it's not used on An/Kohane (but then again, EN has literally teased An/Kohane on their twitter account so is it all that surprising?).

Here's some examples:

Aibou no koto ga daisuki de / he loves his partner -> he cares about his partner very much (The Power of Unity chapter 7 when Kaito is comparing Arata to Akito and Toya)

HARUKA-CHAN, DAISUKI DAYOOOO!!! / HARUKA-CHAN, I LOOOOOVEEE YOU!!! -> You're the best!!! (Dear Me, As I Was Back Then chapter 4 when minori is at an ASRUN concert. this one isn't actually that great of a localisation)

Honachan no koto daisuki dakara. Kore de iinda yo. / I love Honachan, so this is fine. -> I want what's best for her. And this is it. (Leo/need main story chapter 14 after Saki tells Honami she won't bother her anymore)

Minna daisuki de - taisetsuna tomodachi na no / I love them all - they're my dearest friends -> They're all amazing, and very dear to me. (Leo/need main story chapter 17. this isn't good either)

What's particularly amusing about that last one is that there's a second official translation for it that I assume was done by JP staff (since EN never promoted doing the Journey to Bloom subs like they did back when they provided subs for Petit SEKAI) that actually keeps the word daisuki as love.

Yeah. I love all my friends - and they mean the world to me.

It's a better localisation than the official EN team one.

Questionable localisation choices aside, Luka's line is fine and is actually in line with the original. The issue with this localisation very much lies with Nene's part, because that is an entirely new line.

In the original text, Nene's "that's just normal" or "that's nothing special" or however you choose to TL it, is meant to be her questioning Luka's statement, since all the things that the other vsingers said that Emu liked were pretty normal things like going shopping and playing video games with nene. To Nene, these things are normal activities for them to do together, so she gets embarrassed by the fact that Luka concludes from that information that Emu loves Nene. When I dissect it like that I think you can really tell what the writers were going for here lol.

"That's just us being friends" does still convey the idea that Nene thinks these activities aren't anything out of the ordinary and she isn't sure why the vsingers are picking these out as some of Emu's favorite things to do, but it's very different from the original line. "But those are just normal things we do together" is something I just came up with on the spot, but it's a lot closer to the original text and still conveys the same meaning. The fact they changed the line to "that's just us being friends" is, honestly, not even subtle that they're covering up queer subtext. The original scene was very clearly written in as ship tease, and EN mentioning "friends" for no reason, especially since the word nor anything close to it was not used in the original, is instantly a red flag because it's like the go-to for queerbaiting and censorship. This was intentional. There was no need for them to specify that the relationship is platonic, Luka's part is ambiguous for a reason so that fans can view it how they like.

Just to top all this off, here's Rin's original line just before that Luka+Nene interaction:

Oh, and! And! She said that playing games with Nene-chan is also super fun!

And here's Rin's line from the official EN translation:

That's not the same thing, but even more weirdly, the incorrect part (super fun->really loves) is a correct translation for the part changed in Luka's line. So, they can do it, they are willing to say "really loves", just not in the right places. Maybe because Rin's part is less personal than Luka's part? It's strange actually, this isn't the first time they've done this either. Off the top of my head I can think of an example from Shiho's Varied Kindness 2* story where they translated the word "suki" as really loves, despite that being much stronger than the original word used (and the fact that daisuki is used a lot in the Leo/need stories and it's incredibly rare if not entirely unknown for them to translate it correctly).

It's not subtle that they're trying to remove implications of the characters possibly being queer, they did it in curtain call and they did it in walk on and on, and multiple times before then too. And considering some of the content in this year's events and the amount of times they say daisuki alone, it's gonna keep happening. honestly i hate the fact that i keep trying to justify the translations in these posts. these translations are intentional. what happened in the curtain call translation back in october says enough. when a character who uses explicitly romantic language towards another guy passes as a straight character in the translation you know they're doing it on purpose.

oh and once again, it's only the EN server that has this issue. The scene in question was translated almost word-for-word on the TW and KR servers.

read fan translations. they're better than what EN gives us and people put a lot of effort into them.

[mrsmarymorstan]

I'm hoping now that Tim has Bernard we get to see Steph romancing someone new too! Tim has had plenty of love interests over the years, but Steph has only ever really (canonically) had 2? Tim and Useless Dean.

But there are so many DELIGHTFUL options available to her!!!

Cass: The Most obvious, I don't think I need to convince anyone of this. Prime time FemSlash right there. I'd say "most iconic" but Harley and Ivy exist.

Kara: They only had a few issues shared back in her Batgirl days but the chemistry was strong! They're both young, a little reckless, got some trauma in their past and also look GOOD TOGETHER on the covers. Plus we haven't had a Bat/Super since Cass/Kon was a thing for 2 issues. This would be a nice place to actually explore such a relationship

Cassie: Look, okay maybe dating someone who had a crush on your Ex is a bad idea... but Steph has a LOT of bad ideas an maybe this one would actually work long term? The drama would be fun to watch at least! AND as far as I am aware we haven't had ANY Amazon/Bat relationships yet? Since Dick and Donna were pretty much solidly BFFs with no sexual tension unless you wanted it to be there. Plus can you IMAGINE Steph and Zeus meeting? Zeus being her Grandpa-in-law? Sooooooo many opportunities for stories right there!!!

Harper: A more obvious modern choice, but omg AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES!!!! Date Nights would be fun, and they have some shared trauma going on there plus a mutual crush on Catwoman.

Jason: Look, okay. I know what you're gonna say, but in the OG Time Line Jason is the same age as Cass and thus only one year older than Steph. I don't know what age he is now, or what age Steph is, but I think the answer is "however old they need to be". Dead Robin Club is already pretty great, so why not expand on it some more? There's also the fun time drama of Stephanie dating her ex's older brother. It's not my FAVOURITE option, but it's one I think has some potential.

Conner Hawke: So, I know this one is pretty niche, but they HAVE met before and she DID have a little flirty flirt with him! Current Conner has his whole dark league of Shadows backstory going on, and I think having him end up with Steph would bring some much needed light into his life. We might also get to see more Bat + Arrow interaction which I am always a fan of. Also it would annoy Damian SO DAMN MUCH and I live for Steph + Damian interactions. Plus it's still not heteronormative because you gotta remember that Loving Vs Virginia was only 1967!

EDIT: I wrote this before it was revealed that Conner is Asexual! And whilst I am absolutely still down for Ace Rep in Romantic Relationships, I fully appreciate if people would rather Steph stay away from him lol

Kon: It would be funny. That's it. That's the only reason. Tim comes out as Bi but it's Steph who gets with Kon. Hilarious.

IDK Some New Person: Hey! New characters are always welcome in the BatFam! Why can't she have a civilian to date? I think that's what she deserves, most of all. Let Steph lead a normal life for once. I mean, yeah I guess that's what Tim and Bernard have going on but equally it's nice to have some parallels in place, you know?

[beloved-child-of-the-house]

Fic Writer Questions! (you can find me here on AO3 if you're interested!)

tagged by dear @theburialofstrawberries mwah!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

112 yowza!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

750,421 kinda tempted to go delete one word so it can be 750420 which is a far more Pleasing number

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

12ish but some of them overlap: BBCS/Sherlock Holmes/ACD (these are all different bc my bbcs fics are not the same as my own modern fem Sherlock Holmes adaptation are not the same as my ACD Holmes fic; Good Omens; Harry Potter/The Werewolf Draco Malfoy Cinematic Universe; Captive Prince; The Hobbit; Fleabag (it was a crossover with BBCS but Fleabag is the perspective character so it still counts as a separate fandom imo); Doctor Who; The Office; Parks and Rec; Broad City (one a piece for those last 5 but I AM going to write a Parks and Rec polycule fic for @gaykagome)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

They're all Good Omens fics from the 2019 Summer of Good Omens! Susceptible to Summer, Fragments Shored Against My Ruin, Something So Magic, Enter Serpent, and Anything We Like

All of those have over 2k except the last one, but average engagement for me is like 400 kudos or so

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try! It depends on what's going on with me. Sometimes I just don't have the energy, and I figure people would rather I spend my brain power on writing new fics than on writing replies to comments. Wish I had a fave button tho so I could let people know I read and reread comments, because I do!

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh I wrote this ficlet series called A Chemical Defect about John and Sherlock's relationship in s3 of BBCS, and it's WILDLY unpopular. People don't read my fic to cry sad tears I guess! John and Sherlock are having an affair in the story, and it ends with the implication that their relationship is unsustainable and that Mary knows about it anyway. I intended to come back to it after s4 and write a more optimistic ending but LOL! Didn't have the heart.

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I know this answer is kinda up my own ass, but like. I think stories that feel true to life sort of feel like they end on a beginning if you know what I mean? You don't really consider a chapter of your life closed until you look back on it from the next? SO that said, I think I'd have to say that it's my big BBCS serial The Only One in the World. I spent 2 years writing it, and it ends with John retiring from medicine to solve crimes and write books full time.

Could also be my WDMCU (werewolf Draco Malfoy cinematic universe) series Moonrise, which starts with Draco isolated in his abusive mother's house, trying to cope with lycanthropy essentially alone and ends with him in love and surrounded by found family in a cozy cottage in Hogsmeade, having gotten some lycanthrope rights legislation passed after working at it for years and talking to Harry about whether they want to have kids. Oh man I feel warm and fuzzy just thinking about it

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I have written one crossover. It's BBCS/Fleabag, because me and @loudest-subtext-in-tv were laughing about how John seems like one of the horrible guys Fleabag sleeps with basically out of self loathing, so I wrote this fic to make Nattie laugh, and you should read it bc it's so good and so underrated.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really, but people don't seem to know that authors can read bookmark tags unless you private the bookmark, and someone once put in the bookmark tag on one of my fics 'writing was meh but it was okay.' Okay so why bookmark it then??

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Fuck yes! I'm not sure what 'what kind?' means? People fucking? Sloppy, silly, and awkward, with lots of laughing. I also really like writing afterglow scenes which are even sillier and gigglier and often involve one character cooking for another. Food as love language is a very distinct pattern of mine tbh

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of, but occasionally I'll write a post on here where I make some elaborate head canon, and I'll see people in the tags talking about how they want to write fic of it, and it makes me breathe fire out of my nose like a dragon like PLEASE DON'T. The WDMCU came out of a ficlet post I made on here like a year before I actually wrote the 60k series so like!!! Please don't do that!

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! To Russian and I believe Chinese. Not my entire oeuvre but a handful of BBCS and Good Omens fics

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I wrote a fic inspired by an RP I did with my gf right around when we met (actually now that I think about it, it's two fics), and I waaaaaaanna do a WDMCU collab with my beloved Sally @clytemenestras at some point if he has time bc he inspired me to even write werewolf draco with his original lesbian werewolf story

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

favorites are hard for me? I always think I'm currently doing my best writing lol so I'll say drarry

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I don't post fics unless theyre finished, so I don't have any WIP up on AO3, but I did intend to continue with my fem Sherlock Holmes series, Your Many Tendencies. I just haven't been in a Holmes mood for a long time. Maybe I'll come back to it idk. This particular series is honestly very unpopular? People will just straight up say they don't read femslash, and it hurts a lot. This series feels really personal too, bc it's about a Black autistic nonbinary lesbian, so it does hurt my feelings that no one seems to care, yknow? I mean the people who read it are extremely kind and thoughtful in their engagement with it, but it has vastly less engagement than my m/m fic, and that's painful. It gets literally 1/10 the attention my fics usually get.

16) What are your writing strengths?

Almost all of my writing is romance, but I tend to write concurrently about recovery and found family, and I think I'm very good at doing that in a way that connects with my audience. I once had someone ask if they could use my words in their wedding vows, and I've had people tell me they started doing things with their spouse that my characters do with their partners in order to express love. I think about that all the time. My Impact. It makes me feel like I have a real duty to my audience yknow?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

This question is hard for me like I've been writing so long and so much that I'm literally always happy with my final draft! It's always exactly to my taste, yknow? I suppose I could say that my fics tend not to be terribly plotty but so WHAT? That's beside the fuckn point for me. Plot who? I don't know Her. Also honestly like. Stories feel more True to me when they aren't ruthlessly devoted to plot bc like life isn't like that yknow?

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If you're not fluent in that language, get a beta who is!!!!! That said, I have written scraps of very simple dialogue in French using mostly Google Translate (sometimes I check w Sally bc he speaks French but I am usually too impatient), and I am perfectly well aware that I take my life in my hands each time!!! Also don't do that bullshit thing where it's in italics? That shit is weird and exoticizing. Just write it in quotation marks like normal dialogue.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

BBCS babey back in 2012. Ended a 5 year dry spell for me after I got my writing degree.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Hmmmm I think it's probably gonna be the fic I'm working on now that I haven't posted yet, but I know it's called Names for a House, and here's a tiny bit of it

Thanks again Shreya for asking me to do this bc I really love talking about myself. I tag @the-moon-loves-the-sea, @clytemenestras, @tomiano, @gaykagome and @totallysilvergirl

No pressure <3

[creacherkeeper]

I have an idea for a fic and I think you could do it better justice than I could, so here goes: Fitz realizes he's autistic after his child is diagnosed autistic. Partly inspired by your post thinking up an autistic fitz childhood fic and my own fitz as a dad feels after writing my little ficlet. Of course, if you don't want to write it, that's perfectly fine.

Processing Systems 

sorry this took a while to write! femslash feb happened so you know how that is. but here it is! in all its very educational glory! (with some fluff, it’s not all boring) 

3210 words 

read on AO3 

“Dr. and Dr. Fitz-Simmons, thank you for joining us,” the diagnostician,Dr. Booth, says, a professional smile on her face. Fitz and Jemma take a seatacross from her at her desk, while Caroline, as calm as the four-year-old canmanage, bounds into the diagnostician’s window seat and presses her faceagainst the glass, watching the cars go by outside, her hands twisting togetherin her lap.

“Thank you for seeing us on such short notice,” Jemma says.“Our schedules can be a bit … hectic, as you know, but you’ve been very accommodatingwith your time.”

“Of course.” Dr. Booth readjusts her glasses, peering at apile of papers on her desk. “Now, you said you were advised to come here byyour daughter’s school, correct? This wasn’t an unprompted decision.”

“She’s our first,” Fitz explains, glancing over to Caroline,who hasn’t moved, is just staring wide-eyed out the window. “And neither of ushave a lot of experience with kids. We didn’t think there was anything …different, about her.” He scratches at his face, then looks down at his lap,adding somewhat defensively, “We didn’t think there was anything to beconcerned about.”

“No one said anything about concern,” says Dr. Booth. “Youdon’t have to see this in a negative light. But if there is something to know,it’s good to know when your child is still young. There are steps you can taketo make sure your child is accommodated for, both at home and at school.”

“So there is something to know,” Jemma says, half aquestion.

“Before we get into the results, I just want the both of youto know the kind of strides that the field of psychology has taken in the lastdecade or so. We’re understanding different conditions more and more each year,diagnosis is becoming more accurate, treatment plans and accommodations aremore highly developed. There’s more to help families now than there ever hasbeen.”

“What are the results?” Fitz asks gruffly.

“Well,” Dr. Booth looks at her paper, a light smile on herface. “According to the tests we had Caroline do, as well as observation, and interviewswith the both of you, I’ve determined that Caroline does qualify for adiagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder.”

Jemma lets out a breath, looks towards Caroline, who doesn’tseem to be paying attention, and then towards Fitz, who’s eyebrows are drawntogether.

“There’s nothing wrong with my kid,” he bites out.

“I never said there was,” Dr. Booth assures him.

“You just said she has a disorder,” Fitz argues, facepinched in upset.

“Well, yes, that’s the official title. But not everyone seesit that way. Autism is classified as a disorder, but according to some schoolsof thought, it’s just one of the many kinds of neurodivergencies.”

“I guess—” Jemma starts, grabbing Fitz’s hand to rub herthumb along the side of his thumb, “we just don’t know much about it, is all. Imean, you hear things, but we aren’t really educated in the area. It’s inneither of our areas of expertise.”

“I can answer any questions you have, but let me explain alittle of the basics. Autism, or ASD, is classified as a developmentaldisability. It means that those with it—autistic people—hit developmentalcheckpoints at a different rate and sometimes in a different order than thegeneral population. It impacts aspects of communication such as spoken languageand body language, social skills, and will impact how autistic people processtheir environment and the world around them.”

“So it’s like …” Jemma risks a glance at Fitz, who’s notlooking at either of them. “It’s like having a different processing system inher brain.”

“Exactly,” Dr. Booth says. “Some autistic people compare itto being an Android phone in a world of iPhones. There’s nothing inherentlylesser about either system, they’re just different. They have different coding,run different apps, have different strengths and weaknesses. There are inherentchallenges in living in a world that wasn’t built for you, which is why it’s adisability, but every autistic person will have different ways of coping with andadapting to that. Some people can adapt in such a way that you wouldn’t be ableto tell the difference, and some people don’t.”

“So … you’re saying when she grows up, she might be—” Jemmawinces, thinking. “’Normal’, for lack of a better word.”

“No,” Dr. Booth says. “She’ll always be autistic, it’s notsomething you grow out of. Some people are just better at blending in. Forexample, most people wouldn’t guess I was autistic just from talking to me, butI am. And to be honest with you, I think it makes me even better at this jobthan most people are.”

“Because you can relate?” Jemma asks.

“That’s one reason. Autistic people are also highly attunedto the details of things, which is necessary when you’re a diagnostician. We’revery good at picking out patterns. There are certain advantages to having anautistic brain. Different strengths and weaknesses, like I said.”

Jemma squeezes Fitz’s hand, watching the side of his face.She can see he’s still obviously upset about something. “Doesn’t sound soscary,” Jemma says, trying to comfort them both.

“You know—” Fitz cuts himself off, glancing at the ceiling,then to Dr. Booth, then back up. “You know, where- where are you even gettingthis? She just- She seems like a normal kid. You- You say she’s different, butwhere are you getting that? How come you say my kid is so different? That she-she’s got different processing, or something.”

Dr. Booth watches him steadily, and finally he looks at her,then looks away. “You know, no one is saying this is a bad thing, Dr.Fitz-Simmons. There’s no need to be defensive about it. Having terms like thisto describe your child’s experiences can be a very helpful thing, in the longrun.”

“I think we would just be more comfortable if we understoodexactly where the diagnosis came from,” Jemma says, squeezing Fitz’s handagain.

“Of course,” Dr. Booth says, “I can explain how I came tothis conclusion. Well, I mentioned that autistic people process the worlddifferently. These differences in perception can affect our senses—manifestingin what we call sensory defensiveness and sensory seeking behaviors, of whichCaroline shows both.”

“Can you explain what that means?” Jemma asks, when Fitzdoesn’t say anything.

“We’ll start with sensory defensiveness. It means avoidanceof unpleasant sensory experiences, showing a level of sensitivity outside ofthe normal range. Caroline, for example, didn’t like when I turned the mainlight on in the testing room because it hurt her eyes, so we turned on a dimmerlamp instead. You both said that she startles easily and will cover her ears atloud noises, refuses to eat foods if she doesn’t like the texture, and is onlycomfortable in mild weather.”

“All that she gets from her dad, really,” Jemma says,smiling at him. “He’s always been sensitive to that kind of stuff.”

“Hey.”

“What? You have. You hate the cold, the heat, loud noises,certain foods—”

“Everyone has preferences,” Fitz defends. “Don’t seeanything wrong with that.”

“Let’s move on to the sensory seeking behaviors. Shedisplays what we call ‘stimming’—it’s short for self-stimulation. Autisticpeople do it to help themselves process their environment, both external andinternal. Stimming behaviors that Caroline displayed included hand flapping,hand twirling, bouncing, chewing on her lips and fingers—”

“Well, she gets that from me, too,” Fitz cuts her off. “I’vealways felt better when I’m in motion. She’s just twitchy, like me.”

“Okay,” Dr. Booth says, leveling him with a careful smile.“Her language skills are also a point of interest. She shows the capacity for avery advanced vocabulary, but rarely spoke when prompted. When she did, it wasjust to tell me about her favorite fish.”

“Oh yes,” Jemma says, beaming. “She does love fish. Allaquatic life, actually. She knows so much about it. It’s all she talks about,really.”

“And she showed an understanding of words far beyond her agelevel when she did, but for the most part she was silent. She obviouslyunderstood all my instructions, but didn’t respond to them.”

“I mean, she’s already above where I was,” Fitz says. “Ididn’t even speak ‘till I was six. But when I did, it was all about monkeys.She loves animals, just like me. She’s just focused.”

“We would call something like that a ‘special interest’,”Dr. Booth informs them. “It’s common for autistic people to want to focus on theirinterests when they’re by themselves, as well as a way of interacting withothers.”

“Was that all?” Jemma asks.

“Well, she also displayed what we refer to as ‘asymmetricalmotor skills’. Her fine motor skills, small movements, like her handwriting, werereally quite good. At or above the normal range. But gross motor skills, thingslike walking, controlling broad movement of her limbs when we played games,were much poorer.”

“Clumsiness runs in the family,” Fitz says. “I’m kind of aklutz. Good with my hands, though.”

“You know,” Dr. Booth starts cautiously, lacing her fingerson the table, turning to Fitz. “You seem to relate to an awful lot of thetraits your daughter displays, Dr. Fitz-Simmons.”

“W-Well—” Fitz scratches the back of his head, glancing atJemma. “I mean, she’s my kid. There’s going to be similarities.”

“Have you ever considered getting evaluated?”

Fitz just stares, Jemma glancing between them.

“What would that entail?” she asks.

“A similar process to what your daughter went through. A fewtests, an interview, some paperwork. It takes a few hours, when all is said anddone, over a day or two.”

“Sh-Should I?” Fitz asks, aimed at Jemma, mouth bobbing intoan open gape.

Jemma watches him carefully, then turns back to Dr. Booth.“What are the benefits?”

“Well, for adults especially, having an official word foryour experiences can be very relieving. It helps you to make sense of somethings that may have been in the dark in your life before. It can also help youfeel connected to other people like yourself—the autistic community is growingand thriving nowadays, and you can always reach out to other people who havesimilar experiences. And it opens avenues for accommodations in the workplaceas well, should you need them.”

She turns back to Fitz, giving a little shrug. “Is thatsomething you’re interested in?”

He looks away. “Maybe.”

“Well, I only evaluate children, but I can refer you to somevery good diagnosticians who evaluate adults as well. You don’t have to take meup on it if you don’t want to, but from my personal experience, I think it’ssomething worth looking in to.”

Fitz picks at the fabric of his pants. “Yeah, alright.I-I’ll think about it.”

“Our time is about up here, but before you go let me giveyou this—” She hands over a stapled stack of papers. “It’s Caroline’s officialdiagnosis results. You’ll find a full explanation of the results of each test,as well as her scores on the IQ portion of the test. That’s another thing tonote—her test scores vary highly over the different tests. Most people havemore concentrated scores, whereas Caroline scored within a range of 30thpercentile to the 99th. Also included in there is the next steps youcan follow: places to do more research, as well as the possible benefits ofthings like occupational therapy.”

“If we have any questions—” Jemma starts.

“Feel free to email me, and I’ll get back to you as soon asI can.”

Fitz takes the papers as he stands, bending and curling themwithin his grasp.

Jemma shakes Dr. Booth’s hand. “Thank you for your time, Dr.Booth, this has been very helpful.”

“I’m happy to do it. And can I just say, even though she wasa little scared when we started out, it’s obvious that Caroline is a very happykid. I think the two of you have done an excellent job of raising her so far,even without these resources.”

“Thank you,” Jemma says, “that means a lot.” She turns toCaroline, who’s still pressed against the window, looking like she hasn’t beenpaying attention at all. “Caroline, darling, we’re going now.”

Caroline jumps down from the seat, bounding up to Jemma inbouncing steps. She reaches up, and Jemma picks her up with a grunt and settlesher on her hip.

“Can fish be autistic?” Caroline asks, eyes wide, lookingaround the room.

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were listening.” She glances atDr. Booth, smiling. “No, I don’t think they can be. I think it’s special tohumans.”

“Humans are fish,” Caroline says. “Everything’s fish.”

“Well, I don’t think that fish that live in the ocean can beautistic. Just people-fish.”

“What about dolphins? They’re mammals.”

“No,” Jemma laughs. “But they might have their own version.”

Caroline gives a noncommittalhum, then starts playing with Jemma’s hair.

Dr. Booth smiles at them. “Sosmart, that one. I think she takes after her parents.”

“Thank you again,” Jemma says,and then the three of them make their way out of the room.

As they’re walking out to thecar, Jemma watches Fitz, who hasn’t said anything.

“You’ll think about it?” sheasks.

“Yeah,” he replies. “I’ll thinkabout it.”  

-

A month later, Jemma is sittingin their living room looking over some files, as Caroline lays on the floorlooking at a marine biology textbook. She doesn’t know how to read most of thewords (though she recognizes the shape of most of the species names), but shelikes looking at the pictures and diagrams.              

The front door opens and closes,and Jemma looks up nervously.

“Fitz?” she calls.

“Just me,” is the response.

Her body relaxes, and she goes backto looking at the file as he takes off his shoes and hangs up his coat, thoughshe’s not really reading it. After a minute he joins them in the living room,plopping heavily onto the couch. There’s a set of papers clutched in one of hishands.

He’s quiet, and Jemma tries towait for him to speak, but after only a few seconds she can’t help herself.

“Well?” she asks. “What’d theysay?”

He uncurls the papers, and handsthem over. Jemma takes them, reading quickly.

Diagnosis: Autism SpectrumDisorder

She reads it again, then scanslower down on the page. There’s a lot about test results, results of theinterview, a lot of numbers that Jemma hasn’t started to unpack yet. But, thereit is. Plain as day.

“So,” she says.

“Yeah.”

“How are you feeling about it?”

He scoots down on the couch,tilting his head to rest against the back. He blows out a breath, fingerstwisting together on his stomach. “Relieved, I think.”

“Well … that’s good, isn’t it?This is a good thing.”

“It- It explains a lot of things.Things I’ve been confused about. Things that I didn’t necessarily have wordsfor, before. I just … I wish I’d known sooner.”

“Do you think it would’vehelped?”

“Yeah,” he admits softly. “I-SHIELD knew. I called Coulson and asked, it’s been on my file since theAcademy.”

Jemma’s brows furrow. “They knewand never told you?”

He shakes his head, eyes on theceiling. “Wasn’t in the policy to tell, I guess. And Coulson just assumed Iknew already.”

“Well, in any case,” Jemma says, “youknow now, and that’s what’s important. And, can I just say, I’m really proud ofyou for doing this. I know it was scary, but you went through with it anyway,and I think that was really brave. And I think this is going to be a goodthing, getting to learn more about yourself.”

“Yeah.” Fitz finally turns tolook at her. “Yeah, I think this is going to be a good thing, too.”

“And,” Jemma adds, “it’s justanother way that you can relate to our daughter.”

“That’s true,” Fitz says,smiling, and then scoots off the couch to settle on the floor in front ofCaroline. “Did you hear, monkey? Daddy’s autistic, too. We have the same kindof brain.”

“Shovelhead sharks clonethemselves,” Caroline replies, still looking at her book. “So they’d have thesame kind of brain, too.”

“That’s true.” Fitz nods. “Theywould. I didn’t clone myself, though. You can tell because you’re much cuterthan me.”

“She does have the curls,” Jemma points out.

“That she does.” He grins. “Oneof the many wonderful things she gets from me.”

“She gets some things from me,” Jemma quips, as he moves to sit back on thecouch next to her, grabbing up her hand. “Like her love of biology.”

“Ah- Love of animals,” Fitz shootsback, a teasing grin on his face. “Still from me.”

“I like animals.”

“You like dissecting them, Jem,that’s different.”

“Fine. What about her love oftidiness? That definitely comes from me.”

“Well … I do keep my lab verytidy. But she also keeps her room clean, which I do not, so sure, I’ll give youthat one.”

Jemma beams. “Hah. I knew therewas something.”

Fitz smiles, but eventually itdrops. “Do you … Do you think this is gonna change anything?”

Jemma tilts her head, peering athim. “Like what?”

“Dunno,” Fitz mumbles.

“I don’t think it’ll changeanything unless you want them to change.”

“If I do … d’you think that’sbad?”

“No,” Jemma assures him. “How youthink of yourself is going through a change, I don’t think it’s bad if you wantother things to change along with it. If anything, it might change how open youare with certain things about yourself. And how you think those things deserveto be treated.”

“Caroline … She’ll have names forall these things. She’ll understand it. Understand herself, better than I did.”

“Yes, she will.”

“And- And I’m glad we know, now.So we can give her the best life she can have.”

Jemma raises their conjoinedhands to press a kiss to the back of his. “You’re already a great dad, Fitz. You’realready giving her an amazing life. But yes, this will make things easier, nowthat we know.”

Fitz ducks his head, smiling, andthen turns to Caroline. “Hey, monkey, do you want to watch Finding Nemo? Youcan tell us all the species names when they come on screen.”

Caroline immediately jumps up,her hands flapping at her sides. “Yes, yes, yes!”

Fitz gets up to put in the DVD,and on his way back scoops Caroline off the floor and plops her onto his lap ashe settles back onto the couch. She presses back against him, picking up hishand so she can play with his fingers as she watches. Jemma leans against hisside, resting one hand on his leg.

“Amphiprion ocellaris,”Caroline says as the movie starts.

Fitz presses a kiss againsther hair. “Good job, monkey. Good job.”